i wont wan to sae abt how upset i am yst.
lyk woo. i dunnoee. but im so glad my girls met up with me.
n pls. billy made me smile for a lil while.
tt guy nva fails to compliment himself as if hes everything
but oh well. he's sucha nice chap!.
aniwayy. i was thinking through e whole night.
many decisions waiting me to make.
to serve in gb for next 3 years as a cca as well as a ministry.
or shld i just divert my attentions to another ministry.
to reali stay put at where i am now. with no aim no nothing
n start dashing through stuff in poly
or shld i at least talk to my lecturer once school starts.

alright. recently was talking to this guy.
was reali discourage by wad he said. but e fact is
God gave me e course. cuz i wanted business IT as my course.
but yet i told God it dosent matter if u give tt course to me or not.
just give me a course u wan me to be in. look, God gave me this other course
n ppl ard me are so discouraging. dey told me dey rather waste an extra year
den taking up such course which is of no use.
i mean not lyk i ve not think abt it before. i told mum n dad.
dey told me to take it up. i ask my bro. my bro is useless.
all he said was I DUNNOE. U DIE UR PROBLEM.
im on e verge of swearing now. but im not so gonna do it.
lyk wad's wrong with e whole entire world.
i gotta NOT compromise BUT i ve to accommodate
to everything n everyone.
lyk who's ever in my pt of view looking at e world?
just lyk yst. i gave in. i gave in so much alright.
i ve no idea. not a single bit of it wad else u wan frm me.
find me unreasonable. find me not able to understand u at all.
but ve u ever realise how understanding u are to me?
how reasonable u are to me?
we never get a chance to speak face to face.
n tt's y i hate sms-ing u telling u how i reali feel
how much can i reali express through it?
n u nva seems to ve e time. perhaps u do. for e others.
never for me. yes im e top in priority. but with e least time right?
i can reali compromise with u n such
but we nva get a chance to reali sit down n talk
cuz u nva ve e time.
i dun wan to go any futher.

trust me. i nva felt so hopeless before n was telling God
to give me all e directions i reali need in life.
im lost, im stuck in e middle.
with so many un-decided matters on hands.
with all e stuff stacking up one after another waiting me to do smt abt it.
with u to handle with.
with e atc stuff not settled. n perhaps a lil of internal conflicts.
n yes i do believe God will walk me through.

here i am.

something is my heart
buring like a fire
i want to live for You.
need Your touch right now
fill me with Your power
power to live for You my God.
i will not be moved
i will stand for You.
i will go where You send me
Jesus take me now i am Yours
i am Yours
Lay my life on alter
Everything i give to You alone
here i am
here i am
here i am send me
here i am send me.