okie.. im back! well, have a bad bad dae today... in the morning, dunnoe wads wrong wif mi.. juz shouted out at both germain n jasmine in the train.... was so stress out... reali stress out... reali dunnoe wad to do! cried once i reach novena.... was lucky to ve yean dere fer mi to listen to mi... its been a long long tym when i reali cannot take it animore n juz shouted n cried out in diz manner.... well, it truely make mi feel beta after tt... also with samantha around.... i will be juz smiling away! thx samantha!! keee.......

today social studies was postponed... was so happie... din reali understand wad's the chapter about! tot tt my dae will be lyk yeah! no more problem cuming up.... but i was so so wrong... so wrong.. i wonder if i shld gif u up to bring less trouble fer myself n also to put u in a difficult position... i dunnoe... if dere's a choice... i reali would wan to turn back tym! i tried not to mind wad other ppl say... i reali tried... but how can it be possible fer mi to take it went ppl saying tt im 2-timing u? how can i take it? i reali dunnoe how to do... i went though a tough yr last yr.. diz yr... is the same as last yr but its a different bunch of ppl n to truely sae. u ppl r so so childish! how childish u ppl can get huhz? i reali ve enuff.... i reali reali ve enuff... when will u ppl juz stop all diz n to leave mi alone... juz alone... im so scared! im so scared wad will be the next thing tt cum into my life again to toture mi again? i reali reali juz hope all diz will end juz right here at diz moment.......

again n again. i tried so hard to get my parents trust... but nuttin seems to be possible... i nod tt dey care fer mi dey love mi.... but i felt tt im juz juz too secure to get sum air.... i need sum freedom... i ve been staying out late diz few days cuz i wan both of u to nod tt i need sum freedom... maybe diz is juz plan rebellious.... i came home early today... so tt u ppl can be happie wif mi... i reali long fer a time when i reali reali get all the freedom n trust from both of u!

diz yr is such a freaking yr... it totally screwed up my life! i juz hate 2003! juz hate diz yr... wadever tt happen diz yr will always be a nightmare for the rest of my life! the devil is doing all diz.... juz wanting mi to worship u.... NO WAY! though i may think tt God is not answering my prayer... i nod fer sum reason he will answer it sonner or later.... i will nva to loose trust in God... NEVER...

wHen u R iN tRoubLe.. u Onli gOt tO c oNe sEt oF fOoTpRIntS.. cUz gOd iS caRrYing u tHroUgh dIz dIfFiCult tIme